Unsaid Things
by jkuen1205
Summary: Lily comes from a troubled past, while James is the picture of perfection. What impossible phenomenonal miracle will need to occur for these two to end up together? Read on to find out..
1. Chapter One

Glancing out at the rolling green hills as they flew past with great speed only made me all the more sadder. They reminded me of what used to be my home. And that's not what I wanted to be thinking about. I wanted to forget about it as best I could.

Back home was once a loving family with a beautiful home in a great neighborhood. That quickly changed with the premature death of my father. I was only six, my older sister, Petunia, nine. It hit our family like blizzard in May: completely and utterly unexpected. My father was on his way home from work when he was blindsided by another car. His car spun out of control, jumping the curb and landing on its roof twenty feet away in a ditch. Apparently he died on impact. When you're six years old, you don't fully comprehend the fact that you're daddy is gone forever. For a short while, our mother insisted that he had gone on a business trip, but soon, she let her emotions get the best of her, and we found out what had actually happened our father.

As our father was the only income our family received, his death impacted more than just our emotions. Within two months of his death, our mother had spent most of his savings on booze, dragging herself home in the wee hours of the morning, and we had to move.

Our home was amazing. More than any kid, or anyone for that matter, could ask for. Let's just say the place we moved into was a little less than "homey". Our original home was a massive three floor Tudor in northern London. The neighborhood was full of businessmen and their families. It was perfect. Our new "home" was a broken-down apartment on the decrepit old Hunter Street in the dodgy part of London. It was in shackles, but our mother told us we couldn't afford anymore. Only a few months in could tell us that was a lie. She kept up her boozing ways and soon found herself in financial trouble. She would do anything to get money, including selling herself to men. It was nothing new to come down the stairs in the morning and find another creepy man sitting at the kitchen table, eating up whatever little food we had in the refrigerator.

Petunia and I shared a room in our tiny apartment. The carpet was graying, the wallpaper had come loose, the floor squeaked with even the slightest of steps, but we still had each other. That's all we could have asked for at that time. She was more of a mum to me than our own mum. She walked me to school in morning and waited for me afterwards. She helped me with my homework and made me meals to eat. To say the least, she was the one to keep me alive.

A few years later, when I was ten and she was thirteen, our mum didn't come home one night. Though it was nothing unusual, she usually came in contact with us at one point during the night, even if she was drunk. But that night, there was nothing. Not even her familiar stumble through the hallway at 3 am. Or her incessant moaning and groaning when she finally reached her lumpy mattress. We tried to ignore the fact that she wasn't there, carrying on with the day. But when we arrived home from school and she still wasn't there, we started to worry. I was doing my homework and Petunia was cooking one of her odd concoctions of anything that was left in the fridge when they arrived. There was a knock on the door and two men in suits showed their badges and walked in. After noticing that we were merely children, they looked apprehensive, but charged on.

"Hello, my name is Kenneth Iverrs. I'm a detective with the London Police Department. Is this the home of Margaret Evans?" the taller one asked Petunia.

"Yes," Petunia answered, sounding much wiser than her age would imply.

"Is there anyone else living here? Another adult, perhaps?" he asked kindly.

"No, just me, Lily here, and our mum," Petunia replied, nodding in my direction when she spoke.

"Your mother was just found in an apartment on North Street, a few blocks from here," the other detective began, "We're sorry to inform you that your mother was passed away early this morning."

Not even he could have expected our reaction. It wasn't sadness, though it was obviously not joy. We didn't look as shocked as he seemingly expected.

"We're going to have to take you down to the department, until we contact any relatives of yours. Are there any we could contact?" Detective Iverrs said.

"We have an aunt here in London," Petunia said hesitantly. Right as she said that, my face dropped. I knew exactly which aunt she was talking about. Auntie Joy. And don't let her name fool you. She was anything but joyous. She was a wretched woman in her fifties, fast approaching sixty by now. She was as interesting as a brick and had the sense of humor of a block of wood. Her fortune was an inheritance from her late second husband, Walter Cummings, and she lived very lavishly. Maybe her living quarters would make up for her apparent lack of emotions.

A month later, we were completely moved in. She wasn't any more excited to have us in her house as we were to be there. We rarely saw her as she spent most of the day in her parlor doing God knows what. We still walked to school everyday, though her maids did the cooking and cleaning. I could almost say I was more miserable there than I was at our shack on Hunter Street.

It was on my eleventh birthday that my life changed, for what I could say was the better. It was early in the morning and I was still lying in bed, in that state of being where you're completely aware of what's going on around you but you're still sound asleep. I was soon fully awoken by the gentle tapping on my glass pane window. I slowly pushed myself out of bed and tip-toed to the window, which was an old habit I still had from living on Hunter Street, where making one little floor squeak would wake the entire house, and nothing good would ever come of that. I gingerly pushed back the lacey curtains to find a large owl perched in my window. I screeched and flew back from the window, landing on my bum a few feet back. Still shocked, I stood up, rubbed my now aching bum and walked back to the window. I cautiously unlatched the window and opened it up. The warm July air blew in as I pushed the window wide enough for the owl to walk in. I noticed a small piece of parchment tied to its leg that I hadn't noticed before. I gently untied it and let it fall into my hand. The owl hooted proudly before swooping back out and flying west. I watched it fly until I could no longer see it, before realizing that I had the parchment in my hand. Bringing my attention back to the small envelope, I slipped my finger under the flap and broke the seal. Before opening it, I examined the scarlet seal and in small letters it read _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_. 'Witchcraft and Wizardry?' I thought quickly, but continued on. I slid the letter out from inside of it and read it to myself:

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall,  
Deputy Headmistress_

'Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? I'm a witch? That can't be! Never. It's not even possible. Not at all possible. I'm crazy. This isn't happening. I'm still sleeping,' I though rapidly, as I began pinching my arms and shaking my head violently. I was wishing so hard that I'd just wake up and it would all be a dream. I couldn't actually be a witch. Witches didn't exist. They were myths. I'd learned that my whole life. Magic didn't exist. Witches didn't exist. And I'd never even heard of this supposed Hogwarts. But that owl sure looked real, didn't it?

It took me a few minutes to really comprehend what just happened. A huge barn owl had actually swooped into my room, dropped me off a letter explaining that I'd been accepted into a school for witches and wizards, and flown away again. Hands shaking, I placed the letter on my night table and made my bed, thinking all the more about my predicament. After finishing making my bed, I continued to neaten up everything all the way to the bathroom. That was my nervous habit: cleaning. I went into the bathroom and turned on the sink faucet. I didn't allow the water any time to warm up before splashing a hand full on to my face. I could feel a shiver go down my spine and a nice refreshing feeling in my entire body. Turning off the sink, I looked into the mirror. God, I looked like hell. That's all I can remember thinking. My thick red hair was frizzy and messy and my emerald green eyes looked almost sunken into my head. I could see my collar bones clear through my fair skin and my holey tee shirt barely touched my skin as it was so loose. Living in a crap hole of a house with no nutritious food could do that to a person. It had only been a month since my mother died, so I'd only been eating good food in good conditions for that long. I was gradually gaining weight and looking better. But I still looked death warmed over (A/N: My mom always uses that line and I think it's funny. I guess it's supposed to mean you look like hell).

I took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom, grabbing the letter from Hogwarts and starting downstairs. I was halfway down the hall when I could hear Petunia's voice.

"Good morning, birthday girl. Look who's eleven today," she said cheerfully, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. Noticing the oddly disgruntled look on my face, she spoke again. "What's the matter?"

"Petunia, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"What would you say if I told you that I just got a letter from a school for witches and wizards delivered by an owl telling me I was accepted there?"

"Well, it would explain a few things," she said sarcastically, smiling genuinely.

"Petunia, I'm serious."

"Honestly? I'd say you were crazy."

"I expected that."

"Why are asking anyways? And what is that envelope you're holding?"

"Nothing," I said, clearly not fooling her, as she immediately made a grab for it. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough and she got a hold of it with only one attempt. She laughed as I crossed my arms uncomfortably and paced the space around us while she opened it. She slid the letter out in a similar fashion as myself and read it over carefully.

Her first reaction was to laugh, but when she noticed the completely serious look on my face, she stopped.

"Lil, are you kidding? This has got to be a prank."

"Petunia, it's not a prank. An owl just landed on my window and that letter was tied to its leg."

"That is so unbelievable that it's almost believable," she said in awe, slipping the letter back in. "How do I know that you're not just playing around? This could all be a big joke. I wouldn't put that past you."

"Petunia, seriously. Does this look like I'm kidding?" I asked, pointing to my dead-serious facial expression.

"That'd be a no," she replied, handing me the envelope. "Okay. I may believe you, but how are you going to get Auntie Joy to?"

"That's the problem. I don't know."

"Fantastic. Let's just think of a plan."

We spent the following half hour coming up with a genius plan. Well, maybe not genius, but, well, okay, not very good at all. We were simply going to tell her and hope for the best. That's all we could come up with.

We cautiously went downstairs and entered the dining room together. Auntie Joy was at the other end of table, eating her breakfast in silence. Next to her plate was the daily newspaper and she was reading it between bites.

"Good morning, Auntie Joy," Petunia said, walking over to her seat next to Auntie Joy. I sat down next to her in my usual seat.

"Good morning, girls," was her only response.

"Auntie, Lily has something important to tell you. Something very important to the future of her life," Petunia said, exaggerating the words 'future' and 'life'. Auntie Joy immediately put down her fork and turned completely towards us. I was expecting a very stern look and a scolding for interrupting her morning routine, but instead her face was soft and she looked, almost, nice.

"Yes, dear?" she asked anxiously. My face went pale and I felt almost nauseous at that very moment. The moment that we locked eyes. I'd never looked into her eyes before. They reminded me so much of my mother's it frightened me. "Dear, are you all right?"

"Yeah, Lils, you okay?" Petunia asked, waving her hand in front of my eyes.

"Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine," I answered, regaining my composure and telling her straight out. "Auntie Joy, I just got a letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry informing me that I was accepted."

At first, she just looked at me. Then she smiled. That I didn't expect.

"Oh, dear. That's wonderful!" Wonderful? That's not exactly the reaction I expected.

"Wonderful?" Petunia asked in disbelief. She was happy for me, yes, but she didn't expect that reaction from Auntie Joy either.

"Yes, you're a young witch, Lily Evans. 'Tis wonderful news. We'll have to go to Diagon Alley to get all of your supplies and then I'll bring to King's Cross so you can get on the train on September 1 and be on your way to school!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly, smiling from ear to ear.

"Diagon what?" was all I could ask.

"Oh, dear, I apologize. I completely forgot. You didn't know, did you? Your uncle Walter was a wizard. Unfortunately, he passed away. He would have loved to see you receive your letter."

"Uncle Walter was a wizard?"

"Yes."

"Wow, this is creepy," Petunia said. "I've got to go upstairs and shower anyways. I'm going to the mall with Tiffany. Happy birthday, little sis. I'll see you later. Oh, and, uh, congratulations on your acceptance."

"Thanks, Petunia," I said awkwardly as she hurried past me and out of the dining room.

"We've got so much to do," Auntie Joy said cheerfully, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the dining room as well. I'd known her my whole life and I'd never seen her smile nor hold anyone's hand.

A few weeks later, it was September 1. Today. And now I'm on the Hogwarts Express on my way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To a world where I know nothing, nor anybody, for that matter. But, with everything that has happened in my life, this was just another move. Though, this time, I didn't have my big sister, Petunia, to protect me.

Just then, the door to my compartment burst open and rather pudgy little boy ran in, slamming it behind him.

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here," he said, ducking below the glass of the door. A moment later, four older boys ran by, looking around conspicuously.

"I'm guessing they're the reason you're in here?"

"Yes," he replied, in his high squeaky voice.

"I'm Lily," I said.

"Peter," he replied, taking a seat across from me. Now that I could get a good look at him, he was much pudgier than I first thought. And he was very short. He had sandy blond hair and nervous-looking brown eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Peter." And that the last thing that was said for the entire train ride. I'd always been a rather talkative child, so sitting quietly for that length of time was a challenge. But I did it. As did he.

When we finally arrived at Hogsmeade Station, Peter and I had both changed into our robes and were ready to exit. I left the compartment first and let myself by dragged along with the crowd. Finally, I found myself in a mass of students outside the train. Above all the heads, I could see a large burly man shouting friendly orders to everyone.

"Firs' years this way," he said loudly, waving his arm towards a narrow path through a thicket of trees and bushes. I pushed my way through the throng of chatty students and finally arrived at the path. I stepped cautiously onto the soft dirt and made my way down behind a group of chatty first years. When I arrived there, a man, whom I assumed to be a professor there, told me to get into a boat with only three people in it. I gently got in and sat down quietly. The other three in the boat seemed to be friends already and were talking animatedly with each other, not really noticing my arrival.

"Oh, there's someone else here," one of them said.

"Oh my, I didn't even see you," another said.

"Hi, welcome to our boat," the last said.

Wow, this was going to be an adventure.

Throughout the boat ride, I found out their names and where they were from and what their parents did and what they did for fun and any other thing I could possibly not want to know.

The girl who welcomed me to the boat earlier turned out to be called Kelly Vanders. She had long blond hair and blue eyes and seemed to have a permanent smile plastered on her face. She was from Leeds and her parents were both purebloods, which made her a pureblood. I later found out that a pureblood was someone who's parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and, well you get the point, were all witches or wizards. Kelly loved to swim and go shopping with her friends. The girl who spoke first when I got in the boat was named Dina Cooper. She had short, curly brown hair and hazel eyes. She was also from Leeds and her dad was a wizard and her mum was a Muggle and she referred to herself as a halfblood. Like Kelly, Dina liked to shop with her friends and watch romantic movies. The other girl, named Meredith Stone, seemed to be the odd one out. She had jet black hair and piercing gray eyes. She was much less beautiful than the other two girls, but her smile was bright and cheery and, like Kelly's, permanently glued to her face. She turned out to be Kelly's cousin, so she was also a pureblood. Again, she was from Leeds, and in her free time, she liked to shop, swim, and watch romantic movies.

Boy, I don't think that boat ride could have gotten anymore boring. I never even got to say my name, let alone my life story.

When we reached land, I quickly got out of the boat and ran up towards the front of the group of first years. I was right in front of the large man who had greeted us off the train earlier.

"'Ello there, everyone. My name is Rebeus Hagrid. I am the Keeper of Keys and Grounds here at Hogwarts. I'd let to welcome yeh all here to Hogwarts. Now, in a couple of moments, we'll enter the school through those there doors and you'll be led to the Great Hall by the great Professor McGonagall. Now, will yeh please follow me," he said in a husky voice, waving everyone one to follow him. I smiled and followed him up the large stone steps and in through the enormous wooden doors to be greeted by a stern looking woman, very similar to Auntie Joy before her finding out of my acceptance to Hogwarts.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points," Professor McGonagall explained, receiving two rather loud annoyed sighs from the back of the crowd with her last statement. "At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

The room remained silent as she glanced around the crowd of students.

"I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly." With that, she turned around quickly, causing her robe to flare out, and walked into the Great Hall.

Almost immediately, the crowd erupted in chatting and laughing and other forms of immature communication, though I remained quiet.

"Hi, Lily," I heard a familiar squeaky voice from behind me. I turned around to see Peter standing, holding his hands behind his back nervously.

"Hello, Peter," I said happily, smiling at the sight of someone somewhat familiar. "Rather large crowd, eh?"

"Very," he replied.

He wasn't a very talkative young boy and, for some reason, I wasn't in the talkative mood, so we spent the next few minutes in silence.

"We're ready for you," came Professor McGonagall's voice over everyone. I heard gasps and shrieks of excitement as we followed her in, traipsing past long tables full of the prying eyes of the older students to a small stool with a dodgy looking hat resting on it. We stood in silence for a few agonizing moments before the brim of the hat opened widely and a glorious tune erupted from inside…


	2. Chapter Two

The whole Great Hall erupted in chatter after Professor Dumbledore excused everyone off to bed. I was sitting at the table of my new house: Gryffindor. As was Peter. At least I knew one person.

When everyone started rise up, I followed. I could hear older students yelling for the first years to follow them over the loud chatter of younger ones. I found the owner of one of those voices and started to walk to where they were when I bumped into someone else.

"Sorry about that," I said apologetically.

"No problem," responded the boy I'd nearly knocked over. He looked up from the ground, rubbing his arm gingerly.

"Did I hurt you that badly?" I asked incredulously.

"Not really," he said, smirking. "But you damn near knocked me over."

"I already apologized!" I answered, raising my voice a bit but not sounding angry. I couldn't help but laugh. He was a very good-looking young boy with wire-rimmed glasses and strong features. His jet black hair was incredibly untidy and his hazel eyes looked incredibly mischievous.

"I'm James Potter," he said kindly, holding out his hand for me to shake. I placed my hand in his and before I knew he had leaned down and kissed it.

"Lily," I replied, a bit uncomfortable with his sentiment but found it pleasant nonetheless.

"My favorite flower," he said, grinning. A moment later, another young boy threw his arm around James' shoulders and nearly knocked him over as well, pulling his hand away from mine.

"Hello there, Jamesie boy," he said, ruffling James' hair jokingly.

"Hello, Sirius," James said, smiling a bit sheepishly.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to this lovely lady?" he asked James curiously.

"I'm Lily," I said, holding my hand out to him.

"Sirius, Sirius Black," he replied slyly, taking my hand and swooping down to lay a kiss on it as well. Boy, these two were charming.

"Nice to meet you, Sirius, Sirius Black," I said, pulling my hand away and casually wiping it on my robes. James' kiss was cute and polite, but Sirius seemed to slobber a bit.

"First years this way, please!" yelled a tall, blond-haired boy from the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Well, I must be going," I said, slipping by them to follow the blond boy.

"Don't be silly, Lily (A/N: Ha! That rhymed!). We're first years, too," Sirius said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along behind him. James shook his head in disbelief and followed us on.

A few minutes later, I found myself standing between Sirius and James, looking up at a rather odd painting of a fat lady. She was apparently trying to sing (A/N: Yes, stole that from Prisoner of Azkaban, he-he), but I couldn't have told you that's what she was doing. It sounded more like the cry of a dying rabbit. The same blond boy from the Great Hall was attempting to quiet her so he could say the password to get through, but he wasn't very successful.

"I understand that you'd like to sing, but we'd very much like to get into our common room," he said, trying to sound calm though he was obviously fuming inside.

"Wait, wait. One moment, young man," the fat lady replied, waving him off with a chubby hand.

"No. Not wait. Now," he said sternly.

"Fine, if you don't want to hear my singing, just tell me," she said huffily.

"We don't want to hear your singing," shouted someone from the middle of the crowd of students now waiting to get in. Many of us laughed, as we knew her statement was rhetorical.

"Fine," she said, "Password?"

"Norwegian Ridgeback," the blond boy stated clearly.

"Go on in then," the fat lady said as her portrait swung open.

"Finally," was the word that graced upon everyone's lips as we followed the blond boy inside. But that quickly changed when everyone saw the appearance of what was to be our home for the next seven years.

The entire room was done up in red and gold velvet. Long red velvet curtains hung around large picture windows that looked out over the lake. Plush couches were spread out across the vast layout of the common room. There was a massive fireplace on one side and a grand staircase on the other. At the top of the staircase, there were two smaller staircases leading up to doors that read "Girls' Dormitory" and "Boys' Dormitory".

"Welcome to Gryffindor Tower," the blond boy said, grinning. Across the crowd of first years, gasps and happy whispers could be heard. "I'm Danny Clover, your Head Boy, and this is the common room. It will be your main place of leisure for the next seven years of your schooling here at Hogwarts. As Head Boy of Gryffindor House, I'd like to tell you, the new members of Gryffindor, that any foul play will not be permitted from you. I'd like you to uphold a certain poise while here at…"

"What he means is that he doesn't want anyone screwing this big time," said a girl who had just entered the common room. "I'm Felicia Potter, your Head Girl."

"Hello Felicia," Danny said through gritted teeth.

"Hello there, Daniel," Felicia replied with a cheeky grin. "Anyways, back to the first years. We'd really like to welcome you here to Hogwarts. Now, if the girls would follow me, I'd like to show you the girls' dormitory. And if all the boys would please follow Danny."

The group separated quickly and the girls followed Felicia up the stairs first, then the boys followed Danny behind us. When we reached the top, Felicia turned the knob of the dormitory door and we all went in.

What I found myself in was a long, wide hallway.

"Now, first year girls will be staying in these dormitories. Only four to a room, now," Felicia said, opening up the first door on the left. She pushed it open to display another small hallway with six doors. "Choose a dormitory."

With that, all the girls pushed their way in a chose a room. Unfortunately, I wasn't as quick as the rest and I ended up in the worst room imaginable: with Kelly, Dina and Meredith from the boat ride earlier.

Yes, I was stuck with the Psycho Sisters for the next seven years, give or take a few months of freedom back home.

"Oh my god! I cannot believe you're going to be our dormitory sister! This is going to be so cool! We can stay up late and give each other manicures!" Kelly exclaimed, grinning and clapping her hands together happily before running over and giving me a hug.

Dear lord, help me.

"Well, I see you girls have bonded well. It's getting late so get to sleep. Breakfast is at seven o'clock in the Great Hall tomorrow morning. You'll get your timetables then," Felicia said from the doorway, smiling at our "bonding moment". But by the look in her eyes, I could tell she realized that I didn't want to be there.

"Thank you, Felicia!" Dina cried out as Felicia shut the door.

"We've already decided who gets what bed," Kelly said. "This is my bed," she added, pointing to bed closest to the window.

"And this is my bed," Dina said, pointing to the bed next to it.

"My bed is across from Kelly's!" Meredith said, plopping herself down on her bed.

"And that one is yours!" Kelly finished, pointing to the bed closest to the door. My trunk was already settled at the foot of my bed, so like the other girls with theirs, opened it and took out my essentials for the evening: pajamas and my favorite blanket and pillow.

"Good morning, Lily!" shrieked one of the girls early the next morning. I wasn't quite sure who it was, after hearing their voices until the wee hours of the morning, they all sounded the same.

As I hadn't stirred in the least from that morning greeting, I was violently shaken awake. I angrily opened my eyes to find Kelly standing over me, smiling the most innocent smile she could conjure up.

"You're going to be late for breakfast," she said happily, nodding towards the small clock that hung on the wall between Meredith and my beds. It read six forty-five.

"I still have fifteen bloody minutes," I complained into my pillow. "Besides, I can be late for breakfast. It's classes at eight that we should be worried about."

"Fine, have it your way. But we're going to breakfast," she huffed, signaling for Dina and Meredith to follow her as she stalked out of the room.

"You do that," I mumbled sarcastically into my pillow, being sure they wouldn't hear me. Realizing that I should probably get up and get ready, I reluctantly pushed myself up from my warm bed and threw the blankets off. Now sitting upright with my feet hanging off, no where close to touching the ground, I rubbed my eyes and yawned loudly.

It's definitely an odd feeling waking up in an unfamiliar room with no Petunia to run and wake up. I'd spent every morning since I learned to walk and talk waking up Petunia at the crack of dawn. Wherever we were, I could always count on that fact to be the same. But now, I was all alone. No Petunia to wake up. No other family members whatsoever. I was alone in a world of things I couldn't even imagine to understand. And that feeling sucked.

I drearily stood up and walked to my trunk at the foot of my bed. I unlocked it and pushed it open, listening to the latches creak. I pulled out what I was instructed to be day wear: black skirt, white shirt, grey sweater vest, Gryffindor tie, white knee-high socks, black Mary-Janes, and a Hogwarts-emblem encrusted robe. It could have been worse. I shut the door to the room and quickly changed. Walking past the mirror that leaned against one of the walls, I stopped to look at myself. I seemed to look better than I did back home. My eyes didn't seem as hollow and I almost looked completely well-nourished. I smiled, not a weakly forced smile, like before, but a real smile. A real genuine smile.

With one last check-over, I nodded to my reflection and pressed on. I opened the door and walked down the hallway confidently, exiting the girls' dormitory and descending down the grand staircase. I felt as if it was going to be a very good day.

"Hello there, my darling," came a familiar voice from the boys' dormitory door.

There goes my good day. I turned around to see exactly who I was expecting: Sirius Black.

"Hello," I replied, continuing to walk on towards the portrait hole.

"Aren't you going to wait for me?" Sirius called after me, running down the stairs.

"I wasn't planning on it," I mumbled just out of earshot. "Okay," I said, this time loud enough for him to hear. I just couldn't bear being _that_ cold to him. I mean, he seemed to be a bit arrogant and spoiled, but I just wasn't the type of person to point it out. So, I waited for him.

"Good morning, love," he said charmingly.

"Love?" I asked with one curiously raised eyebrow.

"Just a word," he said, holding his hands up in defense. We walked in silence down the stairs and into the Entrance Hall and just as we were getting ready to enter the Great Hall, I heard someone coming down the stairs and speaking angrily.

"Thanks for waiting for me, Sirius! What a friend I have!" James said sarcastically as he hopped down the last three steps.

"Sorry, mate. Saw this lovely lady as I was leaving the dormitory and just couldn't pass up the chance," he said, smirking.

"Yeah, I see what you mean. The chance to walk this one to breakfast is a pretty irresistible one," James replied.

"Hello? I'm right here?" I said, before turning around and walking into the Great Hall. I walked casually down to an open spot at the end of the table and sat down, grabbing a piece of toast as soon as my bum hit the chair. I spread some marmalade on it and began eating when James and Sirius entered. Of course, they also couldn't pass up the chance to make the loudest possible entrance on their first day here. With one step into the Great Hall, they were laughing loudly and it was hard not to look at them.

I mean, two incredibly good-looking young men laughing hysterically is pretty hard to ignore. Am I right?

Needless to say, the entire girls' population at Hogwarts turned their heads to find the most gorgeous-looking eleven year old boys walking in. And all the boys turned to see their next biggest enemies.

Of course, the worst possible thing happened next. The two laughing boys came walking down the length of the table to take their seats on either side of me. I couldn't have been more embarrassed. Not only was everyone watching me intently, but I could almost hear the rumors spreading. Why me?

Why couldn't they have chosen some other first year girl to _stalk_? I mean, whenever I turned around, one of them was there. It was starting to get a bit creepy. And we were only a mere eleven years old.


	3. Chapter Three

Five years had passed without anything odd happening.

I'd made some new friends: Wendy Daniels, a brunette with a similar background as myself, Kyla McDonald, a fellow redhead with a knack for Transfiguration, and, last but not least, Kiki Arquette. Kiki was the first to approach me during our first day of classes. With her long, black hair, and cat-like chocolate eyes, she has a very mysterious aura around her. We clicked immediately. Wendy and Kyla came along during lunch that day. They sat across from Kiki and me, striking up a conversation about our morning classes. We've all been inseparable ever since.

Why couldn't I have had the luck of being in a dormitory with them?

Instead, I was still stuck with the Psycho Sisters. And they were more psychotic than ever this year. Being in our sixth year, and the fact that we were now sixteen years old, seriously affected their brains. They stayed up later talking into the early hours of the morning talking about everything. And I had to listen to it. They gossiped and did each other's hair and I did everything I could to spend the least amount of time I could in there.

Nothing out of the ordinary had happened between Sirius, James and I. They seemed to back off a bit after they became closer friends with Peter, whose last name, I later came to know, was Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. It was a major relief not to turn around and see them.

As much as I loved Hogwarts, it definitely had a toll on my home life. The thing that broke my heart was that Petunia no longer talked to me. Apparently, the summer that I left for Hogwarts, she asked Auntie Joy to allow her to transfer schools. She chose to attend a private school and made a whole bunch of new friends. Seeing how normal they were compared to her 'freak' of a sister, she chose her friends over me. I haven't said one word to her since the summer after my first year. We exchanged a few choice words that I'd rather not repeat. Since then, we've barely been on viewing terms. The past two summers that I've returned home, she spent the entire time at a friend's house in northern England. Being alone all summer with Auntie Joy was certainly an adventure as she obsessed over me the first few days, asking me millions of questions about school, and then got sidetracked with her new hobby: golf. Let's just say, I didn't exactly look forward to summers at home.

"Hey Lil, you all right?" Kiki asked worriedly, waving an anxious hand in front of my eyes.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine," I replied.

"Well, you were kind of dazing out," Kyla added, sounding concerned.

"You kind of had this weird look your face," Wendy said, attempting to imitate the face.

"Ha! You look like a chipmunk!" Kyla laughed out.

The four of us laughed there for a bit longer, soon ending with tight side-clutching and heavy panting.

"That was the weirdest face I've ever seen," I said, breathing in heavily.

"Hello there, ladies." I turned around quickly to see the owner of that charmingly sly voice.

Yep, exactly who I, and most likely many of you, thought it was: Sirius Black.

"Hello, Sirius," Wendy said sweetly. It was widely known that Wendy had a massive crush on Sirius. But no one was quite sure of his feelings. I could tell he felt something because he never looked directly at her, though he always spoke charmingly and never missed a beat.

"Why hello, Wendy," he replied, sounding just as sickly sweet.

Laughing a bit, Kiki said, "You guys should just go out for goodness sakes."

Wendy immediately went beet red, and, surprisingly, Sirius shifted his weight nervously. I flickered my eyes back and forth between the two suspiciously, but didn't ask.

"Well, I better be going," Sirius said quickly, starting to walk away. But he was unfortunately stopped by James' arm around his shoulders.

"Where you going, mate?"

"Just going to find you, of course," Sirius replied slickly.

"Oh," James responded, eyeing him accusingly. "What's going on with you girls?"

"We're just doing our Charms homework, Potter," I answered, exaggerating the word "Potter".

"I see," he replied. Apparently getting the hint that he was not welcome, he spoke, "Well, we better be leaving. See you lot later."

There were no good-byes from the girls, though as Wendy started to say good-bye to Sirius, we all shot her 'the look' which obviously told her to keep her mouth shut. Apparently it worked, because her mouth immediately snapped back closed.

The two boys trudged reluctantly back over to where they were previously sitting with Remus and Peter, while we got back to work.

"You know, that Potter kid is in love with you," Kyla said, pointing out the obvious.

"Did you just realize that, Ky?" Kiki asked sarcastically.

"No," Kyla replied. "I just never understood why Lily didn't go out with him."

"Because he's an arrogant, big-headed, pompous arse," I said, splitting my attention between the conversation and my very near finished Charms essay.

"Well, I just think we you should give him a chance," Kyla retorted, causing Kiki, Wendy, and I to look at her oddly.

A few moments of silence later, the three of us burst in a fit of hysterical laughter at the exact same moment.

"Give Potter..." I said through giggles.

"...a chance?" Kiki finished, clutching her side as she nearly fell off her seat.

"Guys," Kyla whined. "I'm serious." This caused us to break out into another round of laughter. Kyla? Serious? Definitely not.

"Ky, we're just kidding," I said, noticing the bothered look on her face. "But I still think you're crazy. I mean, _me_ give _Potter_ a chance? There's no way. He's the picture of everything I _don't_ want in a guy: arrogance, cockiness, and...a bunch of other things."

"See? You can only find two things wrong with him. On the good side, he's good-looking, charming, intelligent, funny, and did I mention good-looking?" Kyla asked, smirking.

Nervously, I turned around and glanced at James. He was sitting with Sirius, Remus, and Peter on the other side of the common room. I could see him laughing with the other boys, most likely about something Sirius said. They were always joking. They almost looked enjoyable to be around.

Well, I guess other people agree. Right then, a tall, perfectly blond witch by the name of Cindy Cross trotted over to the Marauders, the name that their little group was so commonly called, and sat down on the arm of the couch. She started to animatedly chat with all four of them, though she paid close to attention to James. I watched her laugh at something James said and casually touch his arm. God, she was trying so hard to get him to notice her.

And what did I have to do? Nothing. He just naturally lusted after me.

But why? I never really did understand. I certainly wasn't anything special. Cindy was much prettier than I was. Her long blond hair looked down upon my shoulder-length choppy red hair. Her aqua eyes sparkled while my emerald green eyes looked dull. She had a long, lean, model-like silhouette, while I was shorter and less 'model-like'. As I saw it, everything should have been in her favor. But instead, she was the one chasing James. While I was the one running from him.

"You were staring, Lil," Kiki said, poking my arm with her wand.

"Ow," I snapped back. "No I wasn't."

"Yeah," Kyla said. "You were."

I looked to Wendy for support, but she just shrugged and said, "Sorry, Lils, but you were."

Crap.

"Whatever. I wasn't," I said, finalizing the conversation.

But in reality, I was starting. And I realized it. I've never felt that before. I had, like, a little pang in my heart when Cindy walked over and sat down near him. Then I almost felt _jealous_ when she laughed at something he said and touched his arm. That's just not normal. Why would I suddenly feel something like that? It makes absolutely no sense.

"Fine," Kiki said. "Let's get back to our Charms essays."

"Well, I'm all done," I said, smiling proudly.

"What do you mean you're done? It was two feet of parchment! I'm not even half way done with the first foot," Wendy said disbelievingly.

"I'm just good," I replied, gathering up my things. "I'm going up to my dormitory. See you down here after?"

"Yeah."

"All right."

"Yep, see you then."

"Bye, girls. Don't be too mad at me," I said over my shoulder as I walked off to the staircase.

What I didn't notice was that James had shot up from his seat on the couch and started to walk towards me, leaving Cindy talking to thin air yet again.

"Lily! Wait up," James said loudly. I turned around to see him running towards me.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I want to know if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me."

"Potter, you've asked me that so many times over the past six years. What do you think my answer is going to be?"

"Eh, well, I'm used to rejection."

Then, I laughed. Yes, I actually laughed at something he said.

_Did she just laugh?_ James thought to himself disbelievingly.

_Did I just laugh?_ I thought, just as disbelievingly.

"You laughed," he said.

"Yes..."

"So Lily Evans does laugh."

"Shut up, Potter," I replied, smirking.

"Lily? Question."

"Yes?"

"Are we actually having a civilized conversation?"

"I guess we are."

"Wow, never thought I'd see the day."

"Well, James, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've really got to go put this stuff in my dorm."

"Okay," James said. "Wait."

"What?"

"What about my question?"

"Oh, um, well..."


	4. Chapter Four

"What do you mean you said yes!?" Wendy shrieked, causing most of the common room to look in their direction.

"Be quiet!" I shushed her, my face turning a bit red from the entire common room's attention on them.

"Sorry. What do you mean you said yet?" Wendy asked again in a much quieter voice.

"I don't know," I said. "I just said yes. He asked politely, and I guess I decided just to give him a chance."

"But what happened to the 'I'll never give Potter a chance' mindset you had only, like, an hour ago?" Kyla said.

"I don't really know. Stop asking me all these questions," I said, whining the last sentence.

"Well, we just find it rather odd that after five years of avoiding him, you decide to say yes in a matter of seconds," Kiki added.

"I know. Let's just go down to dinner and forget about," I said, getting up from my seat next to the fireplace.

"Fine. We'll talk about this later," Kiki replied, getting up as well.

"What do you mean she said yes?" Sirius asked, obviously not convinced.

"I mean, she said yes," James answered.

"I don't believe you," Sirius replied.

"You don't have to," James said. "Let's go to dinner."

"All right, fine. Let's go. I'm starving."

"That's a surprise," James responded, throwing his arm around Sirius' shoulder and messing up his shaggy brown hair.

"I'm starving," I complained as we walked down the stairs into the Entrance Hall on our way to the Great Hall.

"You're always starving," Kiki replied.

"So? Is that so abnormal?"

"Yes, especially when you weigh like a hundred pounds," Wendy pointed out.

"I do not weigh a hundred pounds," I retorted. "More like a hundred and five," I added, smirking.

"Dear lord. That's it? How do you do it? You eat more than all three of us combined," Kyla said.

"Good genes," I answered, trotting down the last few steps.

"You're so lucky," Kiki said.

"Kik, you're just as skinny as I am."

"Yeah, but I can't eat whatever I want."

"Oh, whatever. Let's just go to dinner," I said, opening up the door to the Great Hall and walking in.

Most of the girls went quiet and looked my way, causing most the boys to as well. I stopped after a few steps and looked around at all the prying eyes.

I noticed scowls and looks of disgust on most the girls' faces and sorrowed looks on most the boys'.

"What's up with everyone?" Kiki whispered into my ear.

"I have absolutely no clue," I answered.

"I think I do," Wendy said, causing the three of us to look at her.

"What?" I asked impatiently.

"Someone here agreed to go to Hogsmeade with someone that all these girls wanted to ask them," was her response. It was very vague, but we knew exactly what she meant.

Somehow, everyone in the school found out that I agreed to go to Hogsmeade with James.

"Crap," I whispered. "How did they find out?"

"Who knows," Kiki responded.

I took a deep breath and started to walk further, glancing around as I did so.

"Don't be so nervous. Put your shoulders back, chest out, and walk like you own the world," Kiki whispered into my ear. "Because according to these girls, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Fine, don't listen to me," she replied.

"Ugh, fine."

I put my shoulders back, put my chest out, and walked confidently down the length of the table to our usual spot. The four of us sat down and started to eat, talk, and laugh like we usually did, despite the stares that were still coming in our direction.

A moment later, the door to the Great Hall opened once more and everyone's attention was suddenly on whoever was walking in.

Of course, it was James and Sirius, followed by a skittish-looking Peter and quiet Remus.

They walked down the opposite side of the table and sat down across from us.

That was not normal. They always sat further down the table. But, of course, they choose this day to sit with us. _Perfect_.

"Hey, girls," Sirius said as he grabbed some food.

"Hello, boys," Kiki responded.

"Don't you realize that everyone is staring at you James?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, so?"

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Not really."

"That's incredible. You don't even wonder why they're all staring at you."

"Well, it's most likely because someone found out that I asked you to Hogsmeade and you said yes."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"No, not really."

"Okay, then."

"Why, does it bother you?"

"A little bit."

"Eh, you'll get used to it."

"Whatever."

For the next two days before our trip to Hogsmeade, I was pretty much forced to get used to the stares and dirty looks. I received them walking down the corridors, in the common room, in the Great Hall, and during class. It was unbelievable how obsessed these girls were with James.

Even the bloody Slytherins were jealous of me.

I couldn't understand it.

But, nevertheless, I got used to it. I just ignored the jealous looks and kept going on.

The morning of the Hogsmeade trip, I got out of bed and got ready like every other day.

"You're not going to dress nice?" Kiki asked as I walked down the stairs into the common room.

"What's wrong with this outfit?" I asked nervously.

"It's just, kind of, boring," she replied.

I looked down at my outfit.

There was certainly nothing wrong with it.

I had on simple black pants, an ivory turtleneck sweater and my red coat.

"I like it."

"Well, I don't. Let's go," she said, pulling me back up the stairs and into her dormitory.

"This is what you should be wearing," she said, holding up a pair of jeans, pink long sleeve shirt and a corduroy jacket.

"It's not different than what I'm wearing," I complained.

"Trust me. It's completely different. You just look, well, stuffy. This says 'I'm carefree and I want to have fun'. Your outfit says 'I'm boring and wish I was forty years old'."

"It does not," I said, looking into her mirror.

"Just put this on."

"Fine," I said reluctantly, taking the outfit and quickly changing as Kiki shut the door.

After I put it on, I looked in the mirror.

Surprisingly, it did look different.

"See?"

"Okay, I guess it does look better."

She smirked.

"Don't say it!" I said.

"I..."

"No!"

"Told..."

"I'm not listening!"

"You..."

"Shove it, Kiki!"

"So! I told you so! I told you so!"

"Ugh, why does it seem you always have to be right?"

"Because I am always right. Now, let's talk about the hair."

"No, there is nothing wrong with my hair!"

"Oh, there certainly is."

"Fine," I said, surrendering. "Do what you want," I added, sitting down on her bed.

"Yes!" she shrieked, clapping her hands together. She grabbed her wand and got to work.

Five excruciatingly nerve-racking minutes later, she was done.

"Okay, go look."

I got up and looked in the mirror.

My worst fears were realized.

She _actually_ did a _good_ job. I was amazed.

Through the fabulous power of magic, she made my choppy, wavy red hair curly. But they weren't tight curls. They were big, loose curls. It was amazing. I felt amazing.

"You rule, Kik."

"Thank you. What about your make-up?"

"No, that is where I cross the line."

"Fine," she said, looking crushed.

I smiled and started to walk out when she surprised me with a charm.

I couldn't understand what she said, but a moment later I could feel my face tingle.

"KIKI!" I shrieked as I ran to the mirror.

_Wow, it doesn't look half bad_, I thought to myself.

My eyes were outlined in black, with a smoky look to them. My lips were pale pink and glossy.

"I love it," I whispered.

"I knew it."

"No more surprise charms, right?"

"Correct," she answered, smiling. "You now look gorgeous. Well, even more gorgeous than usual."

"Whatever," I said, throwing my arm around her shoulder and walking out with her.

"Now let's just hope Potter likes it as much as I do," Kiki said as we reached the top of the stairs.


	5. Chapter Five

"You look beautiful," James said sweetly as I descended the staircase, my arm still around Kiki's shoulder.

"Thank you, Potter," I replied.

"Don't you think you could be a bit nicer and call him James?" Kiki asked.

I turned and looked at her, my eyes narrowed.

"Sorry. I'm going now," she said, slipping out from my grip and walking over to Wendy and Kyla who were standing off to the side, looking anxious to see what would happen between James and me.

"I agree with her," he said, smirking.

"Fine, _James_," I said.

"Wow, I like the sound of that."

"Don't get used to it," I said as I started to walk towards the portrait hole. "Are you coming?"

"Yes," he said, running to catch up with me.

We climbed out the portrait hole and started down towards the Entrance Hall, where all the other students were happily awaiting the time when Professor McGonagall and Mr. Filch, the caretaker of Hogwarts, led them to the carriages.

"Why did you say yes to me?" James asked as we stood in the crowd of students.

"What?" I asked, yelling over the sound of the happy students' clamor.

"I said, 'Why did you say yes to me?' he said, yelling as well.

"I don't know," I replied. "I guess I kind of, well, I think you've changed."

"Changed? For the better?"

I nodded, smiling. He smiled in return and we stood in silence for the rest of the time.

"All right, everyone follow me," Professor McGonagall said after she quieted everyone down.

We all followed her out the doors of the Entrance Hall and down to where a long row of carriages awaited.

"Where would you like to go first?" James asked, as he helped me out of the carriage.

"I don't mind. You choose."

"How about the Three Broomsticks?"

"Sounds good. I really want some butterbeer."

"Me too. Let's go," he replied, taking my hand nervously.

I looked down at our now intertwined fingers, but I didn't pull back. I left my hand there.

I could hear his sigh of relief as we started to walk down the wide cobblestone road, hand-in-hand.

I almost liked the feeling of being so close to him. There seemed to be a feeling of safety when you're with him. He was tall, well-built, and very intimidating. Not that I was afraid of walking in Hogsmeade without a big, tall boy with me, I've done it for the past three years, but I liked the feeling.

"Well, now aren't you the happy little couple," sneered a raspy voice from behind us.

We turned around to see Severus Snape staring at us.

"Why hello there, Snivellus," James replied, smirking.

He and pretty much every other student who wasn't in Slytherin called Snape Snivellus. I guess it never really caught on with the Slytherins.

"Since when were you and the Mudblood a couple?"

"Don't call her that," James said threateningly.

"What are you going to do?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about a rerun of last year?"

That caused him to back off a bit.

"Fine, have it your way. But I'll be back, Potter. No doubt about it."

He turned around and stalked off, leaving James and I, laughing to ourselves.

"Is he ever going to learn?" James asked.

"He's just pathetic," I answered.

"Completely," James replied. "Are you ready now?"

"Yes."

He smiled and we continued walking, arriving at the Three Broomsticks a few moments later.

"Gosh, I missed this place over the summer," I said, looking around at the familiar hustle and bustle of the Three Broomsticks.

"Oi, Jamesie!" we heard Sirius yell from across the place. He was sitting in a booth with Wendy, Kyla and Kiki.

"Hey, Sirius," James replied as we walked over and sat down.

Just then, Remus came back over with some butterbeers, Peter behind him, holding more.

"Oh, I didn't know you guys would be joining us," Remus said as he approached the table.

"Oh, don't worry about it. We'll get our own," I said, standing up to go get them.

"No, no. I'll get them," James said, signaling for me to sit back down.

"Oh, okay. Thank you," I replied. James got up and pushed his way through the crowd over to the counter to order two more.

"You guys are looking cute together," Kiki whispered in my ear, as I scooted closer to her to make room for Remus and Peter.

"Yeah, he's actually really nice and funny. We talked the whole carriage ride."

"I knew it," she replied, looking proud of herself. I just shook my head and laughed.

"Two more butterbeers," James said, placing one in front of me and the other in front of himself at his position next to Sirius.

"You guys couldn't have gotten a bigger booth?" I asked, attempting to drink my butterbeer in the squished position I was in.

"This is as large as we could get. And it was big enough for the six of us, anyways," Sirius replied, smirking.

"Fine," I said. "Is that a cue for James and me to leave?"

"Oh, no, no," Sirius responded, laughing.

"Oh, shove it, Sirius," James said, jokingly hitting his friend on the shoulder.

"Ouch," Sirius whined out in mock pain. All I could do was roll my eyes. I guess I was right when I thought they were enjoyable to be around.

Once you get to know them, they aren't half bad.

We spent nearly two hours in the Three Broomsticks, drinking butterbeer and laughing about everything.

"Who's ready to go?" James asked, obviously hoping that I'd say 'me'.

So I went with it.

"I am."

And I was the only one.

"Well, at least someone is," he said, pretending to be hurt as he got up.

"Sorry, boys," I said as Remus and Peter pushed themselves out of the booth to allow me room to exit.

"It's all right, Lily," Remus said, smiling.

"Yeah, it's fine," Peter added.

Whoa, I never hear that kid talk.

I smiled in return before following James out.

"Gee, it's nice to finally get out of there," I said as we started to walk down the cobblestone once again.

"Yeah, it can certainly get stuffy."

"So, what do you want to do now?"

"Um, well, we could just walk," he answered.

"I can do that."

He casually reached for my hand once more and I happily accepted his offer. We just silently walked down the road, hand-in-hand, again. It was nice. We didn't even have to talk. Just being with him made me happy.

Wow, I never thought I'd see the day.

But I'm still not completely sure about this whole thing. It just seems odd, how after all this time, I'm _suddenly_ comfortable with him. I _suddenly_ decide to accept his offer to go out somewhere. It's just, well, _odd_.

"That fountain is so pretty," I said as we approached the old fountain in the center of Hogsmeade.

"Yeah, it is," James replied, sounding nervous. "Lily?"

"Yes, James?"

Then he kissed me. Right there, in the middle of Hogsmeade, with tons of other people looking.

"James!" I screeched, pushing him off me.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I just thought..."

"No! You didn't think anything! You didn't think how I'd feel or anything!"

"Lily, I'm sorry, I just..."

"No, Potter. Don't try to explain yourself. Just leave me alone!"

All I could think of doing was running. So I ran, as fast as I could to the place where the carriages dropped us off. Luckily there were a few carriages waiting for students who wanted to leave early. I jumped in one of the carriages and rode back up to Hogwarts.

I'm not really sure why I ran from him when he kissed me. There was certainly no logical reason. I just freaked out. I mean, _James Potter_ just _kissed_ me. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. He was supposed to go out with and kiss girls like Cindy Cross. Not girls like me. I could never understand why he liked me, though I could tolerate it. But not this. I couldn't tolerate or understand why he kissed me. It was just _too far_. I'm just plain, old Lily Evans. And he's, like, the great James Potter. It made no sense.

I spent the entire ride up to Hogwarts silent, completely wrapped up in my thoughts.

When I finally arrived at Hogwarts, I got out of the carriage and ran up to Gryffindor Tower, quickly mumbling the password to the Fat Lady as I made my way up to my dorm.

I prayed and prayed that the Psycho Sisters wouldn't be there. I needed some time to myself. I just needed to think.

When I got up to my dorm, I found it completely empty. Thank God. Finally, something was going my way.

The next few days went by incredibly slowly.

I avoided James at all costs, but couldn't avoid the prying questions I received from my friends.

"What is wrong with you, Lil?"

"Why did you run off?"

"Why didn't you kiss him back?"

"Aren't you happy?"

"What exactly happened?"

"Was he that bad of a kisser?"

I answered most of these questions as simply and quickly as I could, but I knew my friends could see right through the answers. I knew they could tell something more was bothering me, but they didn't pressure me for any more answers.

James did attempt to talk to me a few times, but I just blew him off. I would either smugly turn and walk away or the occasional breakdown, where I would yell at him to leave me alone.

I did feel rather bad yelling at him, as I knew he didn't _really_ do anything wrong, but I just felt better. I just felt better making him feel bad. I liked seeing the look of sorrow on his face. If he was sad and stopped talking to me, I could finally be normal again. Everything would go back to the way it used to be. I could laugh and talk with my friends and call him Potter and everything would be okay.

But he didn't stop. He refused to give up. I knew he was a determined, persistent person, but, man, you have to draw a line. How many times must you be publicly humiliated by a girl to realize that you're not going to succeed?

Though, I guess, in the end, his efforts did pay off.


	6. Chapter Six

The next day was rather awkward as I was doing everything in my power to avoid James Potter.

After a few hours of failing miserably, and being forced to listen to nearly a dozen apologies from him, I finally figured out the one place he couldn't get to me: my dorm.

I hid out in my dorm for most of the afternoon, studying and writing letters home to Auntie Joy, but importantly, to Petunia.

Even if I knew she probably wouldn't read them, I felt better writing them. I needed to get a lot off my chest and I couldn't think of anyone better than Petunia. She'd been there for me for my whole life, even if she had viciously abandoned me these past few years. I wasn't bothered by the fact that she'd most likely rip them to shreds and throw something at the poor owl I chose to deliver them, I needed to explain myself.

_Dear Petunia,_

I know that I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I really need to get some things off my chest.

First of all, I need to tell how much I love you and miss you. You're my big sister and I'll always look up to you, whether you want me to or not. I want to apologize for whatever I did to make you feel so terribly about me. I didn't choose to be a witch, it just happened. I wish that you could see that it hasn't changed me as a person. I also wish that you'd just come to your senses and talk to me. You don't realize how much I need you right now. I need you more than ever. You're three years my elder, which means you know a lot more about the things I'm experiencing.

There's this boy here at school who I absolutely despise, but deep down I have feelings for him. He's absolutely terrible. He's arrogant, annoying, and childish. But on the other hand, he's awfully good-looking, intelligent, and incredibly funny. He's so much fun to be around. But I can't like him. I can't! He's my sworn enemy and everyone knows that. I despise him. So why do I love him so much?

Look, Petunia, I know you probably don't give a rip what's written in this letter, and you most likely haven't even gotten this far, but I want to end this letter by telling you how much I truly need you. You're my big sister and I love you. I wish you'd reply to my letter and help me. I also wish that Mum was here.

I know that she wasn't the greatest mother, but I loved her. I never realized that until now. I guess the saying is right, 'You never know what you have until you lose it.' I know that Mum probably wouldn't have changed in the slightest, but I know that if she were still here, we'd still be talking and I'd be able to go to you with anything.

Again, I love you and miss you. Please, please reply to my letter.

Your loving sister,

Lily

I quickly wiped my eyes, which were now holding involuntary tears, and placed my quill next to my finished letter.

With one last read through, I folded it up and pushed it off to the side of my desk, along with my letter to Auntie Joy.

I paused for a moment before standing up, trying to regain my composure by wiping both eyes with the sleeve of my sweater and taking a deep breath. When I finally stood up, I noticed my reflection in the mirror.

My eyes were red and watery. My bottom lip was bright red from the pressure of me biting back tears. I looked like hell.

_I can't go out there looking like this,_ I thought to myself. Then I noticed my wand where I left it on the desk. Smiling, I picked it up and cast a quick charm over my face. Instantly, any redness was gone. _Perfect_.

Tucking my wand into the back pocket of my corduroy pants, I walked out of my dorm and into the common room.

As I was walking down the stairs, I could hear whispering, but when I looked around there was no one there.

_Hmm, that's odd. I assumed everyone would be at dinner,_ I thought suspiciously. Shrugging it off, I continued walking.

A moment later, I heard it again. This time, I stopped and did a complete 360. Again, I spotted no one.

Just then, I was jerked backwards, falling on to the couch with pressure on my shoulders. I opened my eyes and found Kyla and Wendy holding me down, with Kiki standing in front of me.

"What's the matter with you guys?! Are you crazy? You scared me half to death."

"Sorry," Kiki replied. "But it's time for an intervention."

"An intervention?"

"Yes, an intervention. We heard about what happened with James and we think you're crazy," Kiki answered.

Well, that was certainly blunt.

"You think I'm crazy?"

"Yes, we think you're crazy. So we think you owe someone an apology," Kiki said, nodding towards a very sullen looking James walking towards me.

I could feel my face turn red and my jaw drop.

"Look, Lily. I know you're mad about what happened yesterday, but I want us to be friends. I've apologized numerous times for what I did. I realize that I may have gone a little too far with the kiss, but I was running on pure emotion. I don't know why you won't forgive me. The day seemed to be going great and I got the hint that maybe you felt the same way, so I decided to go for it. Apparently it was a bad decision on my part."

I just looked at him. In the past twenty four hours, I'd heard numerous apologies from him, yet none really hit me. But this one did. It was like a slap in the face. It couldn't have been more obvious how much he really felt bad about it, even though he didn't _really_ do anything wrong.

The look in his eye was of pure sadness. They were longing for my forgiveness. I could see that all he wanted was for me to say "it's okay." I'd never said it before, but now I felt as if I had to. I felt that I owed him an explanation for my stupid reaction to his simple sign of affection.

"James," I replied, causing his eyes to flick up and a slight smile to play on the corners of his mouth.

I knew he was relieved to at least hear his first name, rather than his last.

"You aren't the one who should be apologizing."

"I'm not?"

"No. I'm the one who should be."

"You should?"

"Yes, James. I never should have reacted the way I did. I'm still not certain why I did, either. But I can guess."

"You can?"

"Yes. I guess that it was because I had feelings for you, but I didn't want to have them. When you kissed me, I had to push away because I knew I'd enjoy it. And I didn't want to surrender to the emotions I had for you. It just wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to like you, James. That's not the way I planned it..."

"That's just it, Lily. You can't plan love."

"I know. But you can avoid it."

"You can't avoid it forever, Lily."

"I can try," I said, as I pushed Wendy and Kyla off me shoulders and ran up to my dorm, not once looking back.

I ran as fast I could to my dorm and slammed the door behind me, casting a quick locking charm on it. A moment later, I could hear the girls reach the door and start banging on it angrily.

"What was that about, Lily?" Kiki yelled. "Lily! I know that you can hear me!"

But I ignored them.

Lying on my bed, I let everything out. I let out the tears I was holding back before and the ones that were created during the last few moments.

I know that the girls could hear me crying, and a few minutes later, they gave up. I could hear them muttering to each other as they retreated back to the common room, but I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I stayed in bed all through dinner until my lovely dorm mates came back, when I had to unlock the door for them.

Fortunately, they asked no questions when they were greeted by my tear-stained face at the door, nor when I silently retreated back to my bed and closed the hangings.

I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep that night and awoke the next day to the sounds of an autumn breeze howling past the window.

Realizing that I had fallen asleep in the same clothes I'd worn the previous day, I got out of bed and changed into my uniform.

I did a few charms on my hair and face, and left my dorm looking fresh as a daisy.

I trotted down the stairs, through the common room and into the Entrance Hall, where I happily waltzed into the Great Hall.

I spotted the girls sitting together further down the Gryffindor table, so I walked down and plopped myself down next to them.

"Why are you so happy?" Kiki asked as I sat down.

"It just seems like a good day," I replied, grinning.

"Well, that's good," Wendy said.

"Yes, it is," I responded.

"So, you're not going to explain why you ran off yesterday and wouldn't open the door for us?" Kiki asked after a few moments of silence.

"No."

"Okay, that works."

"Let's just forget about it," I said.

"All right, I can do that," Kiki said, though I noticed a tad of uncertainty in her voice.

The rest of the day went on without a flaw.

The girls acted normal, and decided it was best to follow my instructions and forget about the whole James thing.

I avoided James successfully all day long, even if I did have all my classes with him.

And, on top of that, we found out that the professors had planned a Halloween costume ball for all the sixth and seventh years.

This was going to be one hell of a ball.


	7. Chapter Seven

Every time I walked by James, I could feel him watching me. I felt like whatever I did, he was watching. I felt like whatever I said, he heard me.

Obviously, I never told anyone about it, especially my friends. I could already hear them saying "I told you so."

And that's not exactly something I wanted to hear.

Right now, I was happy with avoiding James at all costs and hoping my feelings would go away.

In a way, I knew it wasn't going to happen, but it made me feel better trying. As long as I tried, failing wouldn't hurt as much.

The few days prior to the Halloween costume ball were full of hectic hustle and bustle from all the sixth and seventh year students at Hogwarts. Last minute costume choices could be heard being diliberated from every part of the castle.

Of course, those last minute costume deliberations involved my friends and me.

It was like none of us could decide on a costume.

"You could be a fairy," Wendy said to Kiki as we lounged in the common room the night before the ball.

"A fairy?" Kiki replied disbelievingly.

"Yes, a fairy," Wendy retorted defensively. "I haven't heard you guys come up with anything better," she spat out in addition.

"Me? A fairy? Why don't you be a fairy?"

"Because I'd be a weird fairy."

"Well, so would I."

"Fine, then don't be a fairy."

"I wasn't going to be."

"Would you two shove it?" I said loudly over my two bickering friends. "We have to focus. The ball is tomorrow night and none of us have costume ideas."

"Why don't we all just think of our own costumes? This whole throwing out random ideas doesn't really seem like its doing much good at all," Kiki replied.

"Good idea," I said. "Everyone just think to yourself."

Five minutes later, I spoke.

"This isn't helping much, is it?"

"Not much," Kiki replied, laughing lightheartedly.

"Did you guys think of anything?" I asked the other two who remained silent.

"I have somewhat of an idea," Kyla said.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was thinking that I could be an angel."

"Hmm, sounds good," I said. "Now the rest of us have to think of some."

"Well, I was thinking that I could be a princess," Wendy responded.

"That fits you," I replied, smirking.

"Shut up," she replied, smiling.

"Now Kiki and I have to think of some costumes."

"Well, Kiki could be Scarlett O'Hara. You know, from _Gone with the Wind_. She always reminded me of her," Wendy said, after thinking a moment.

"Never heard of her," Kiki replied.

"You probably wouldn't. She's from a Muggle book," I said. "And that sounds like a great idea," I added, smiling at Wendy.

"I've got it!" Kyla shrieked out suddenly. "Lily could be Cinderella!"

"Me? Cinderella?"

"Yes! That would be perfect. She and the prince kissed then she ran off," Kiki said, smirking.

"Shut up," I said. "I just never saw myself as a Cinderella type."

"Well, you'd be a beautiful Cinderella," Wendy replied, grinning.

"Okay. I'll do it. And did anyone else notice how easy that was once we focused?"

"Yes, Lily," Kiki replied earnestly, which I knew she just said it to shut me up.

The following day went by super fast. Much faster than any of us expected.

Usually when something you were excited about was happening in the evening, the day would drag on. But that day was the complete opposite.

"Only four hours until the ball!" Wendy exclaimed as we walked up to Gryffindor Tower after classes.

"Four hours that we need to plan out carefully," Kyla added.

"Yes," Kiki replied. "We need an hour for showers, then an hour for hair and make-up. Then another hour for dressing and such. Then the last hour we can spend relaxing."

"One thing to change there," I said.

"What?"

"Why don't we relax before we do everything?"

"Good idea," she said, grinning as we all plopped down on the couch in the common room that we had just entered.

"Ugh, I'm so comfortable," I said, snuggling into the fluffy pillows.

"Don't get too comfortable. We only have an hour down here. Then we have to get ready," Kyla said, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"I know, you're excited. Now let's just forget about the ball for the next hour. We can talk about other things. Things that have absolutely nothing to do with the ball," I said.

I wish I could say that I was as excited about the ball as the other three were.

Was I happy that we were having a ball? Yes. Was I overly excited? Certainly not. I was never the ball type of girl. I don't particularly like dancing. And I don't really like getting all dolled up.

And I knew those were the two things I'd be doing most of tonight.

Eh well, I'll make the most of it. I'm happy. I'm with friends. I'm content. Let's just take advantage of the moment.

"Okay," Kiki agreed.

"So..." I said. "This isn't going to work, is it?"

"No," Kiki answered.

"That's what I thought. Eh well, just talk about what you want."

They immediately started talking about what they were going to do with each other's hair and make-up and how beautiful they were going to look.

I wasn't in the mood to talk about that, so I got up and walked over to the window. I sat down on the big velvet cushion that sat in the window seat and pulled my knees to my chest. I let my back lean against the side of the window and just looked out.

The sky was darkening and the moon was slowly revealing itself. Everything outside was so peaceful, while everything inside was so hectic.

While I was looking out, all I could think about was Petunia.

I wonder if she got the letter I owled her with. Wait, did I send it? Hmm...good question. Um, yes! I did send it. Whew.

I wonder if she got it?

"What are you doing, Lils?" I heard someone ask from behind me.

I didn't recognize that voice. And why were they calling me Lils?

I turned my head to see Remus standing there.

Dear lord, that boy had changed. The last time I actually spoke with him was about two years ago.

Hmm, he's actually rather good looking. He's a bit lanky, but it works for him. I never really noticed him before.

"Hey," I replied. "Wanna sit?"

"Sure," he answered, sitting down across from me on the window seat. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing really. Just thinking."

"About anything important?"

"No. Just about my life in general. And about my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, she's a Muggle. I don't speak with her much anymore. We haven't really spoken since I got my letter to Hogwarts."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm over it. She's out of my life and I'm out of hers. That's just the way it is."

"I understand."

"How do you understand?"

"I guess I just know how you feel."

"Really? How could you possibly know how I feel?"

"I lost someone when I was eight."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Remus."

"Like you said, don't be. I'm over it. It's been eight years."

"Yeah. Well, Remus, I guess we're in the same boat. We both lost people we love. And now we're over it. You know what, I like you, Remus. You're definitely much cooler than James," I said, smiling and patting him on the shoulder.

He chuckled a bit then spoke.

"Don't you have to go get ready?"

"For what?"

"The ball."

"Oh, dear. Talking with you made me completely forget," I answered, looking over to where the girls were.

"Well, I'm glad that I could be of service," he replied, laughing.

I laughed, too. He was definitely nice to talk to. I felt like he really listened to me. I enjoyed it.

"I guess I'll be going now," I said, standing up.

"See you at the ball?"

"Yeah. Bye, Remus," I answered as I walked back over to the girls.

"You were certainly getting comfortable over there," Kiki said as soon as I sat down next to her.

"Shut up," I replied. "He's just really nice to talk to."

"What did you talk about anyways?"

"Stuff."

"Don't be too vague now, Lil," Wendy said, smirking.

"Okay, I won't."

"We should probably head up for showers now, girls," Kyla said to us all.

"All right, drill sergeant," I replied, standing up.

The other three stood up, as well, and a few moments later, we were walking up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

"I'll see you in a second," I said when I turned into my dorm.

"Hey, Lily," Kelly said as I entered.

"Hi," I said, not acknowledging the other two girls.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting my stuff ready so I can go take a shower."

"Oh."

"Do you mind?"

"No."

"Good."

I gathered up my robes and a few other things before turning around and leaving the dorm without another word.

Ugh, those girls just bothered me so much. Just their voices could drive someone insane. They just sounded so, well, so stupid. And that's exactly what they were.

"Could you have gone faster?" I heard from behind me as I went down the stairs.

I turned around to the girls coming down behind me.

"I don't want to spend more than a minute at a time in there during the day," I replied.

The girls laughed, as did I.

They knew how much I despised my dorm mates, and I think they shared the feeling.

We walked over to the portrait hole, climbed out and walked down to the right.

It was my special little treat that we'd all shower in the Prefects' bathroom. Being a prefect, I had that privilege. Though I did have to ask Dumbledore if they could come in just this once.

"This place is amazing," Kiki said as we entered.

"Yes. Yes it is," I replied.


	8. Chapter Eight

"Will you guys please hurry up!?" I yelled up the stairs into the girls' dorms.

I was standing at the bottom of the staircase, fully dressed, waiting for them to come down.

They always took longer than me. I was the kind of girl who had the ability to be ready in a matter of minutes, they were different. When they had to look good, they did. And they made sure of it. For an hour straight.

"We're coming!" I heard Kiki respond. I could hear heals clicking on the wood floor of the dorm corridor, so I assumed they were on their way.

"You guys look beautiful!" I exclaimed as they descending towards me. "But we're already five minutes late!"

"You look even more beautiful!" Wendy replied.

"You're complimenting your own work," I answered, giggling.

"Is that a bad thing?" she said, smirking.

"Wait, where's your mask?" Kyla asked.

"Shit!" I said. "I have to go back up."

"We have no time," Kiki said.

"You guys go. I'll catch up."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go."

"Okay."

And I was off. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could in the heels that the girls forced me to wear.

'Your costume will look terrible if you don't wear them!' I could hear Wendy exclaim in my mind.

I walked down the corridor and into my dorm.

"Great," I said to myself. "I don't even know where to look."

I decided to start with my wardrobe. I ripped out everything inside and found nothing. Then I moved on to my bed, and in my side table.

Still nothing.

"Maybe it's in their dorm," I mumbled to myself.

So I left my dorm and continued down the hall to their dorm.

I entered and saw it sitting on Kiki's side table. Exactly where we left it.

"I'm so stupid," I muttered angrily as I grabbed it and ran back down the corridor and into the common room.

I made my way across the room and I climbed out the portrait hole.

I made it a few more feet running before I decided to quit. I put the mask over my face and continued on walking rather than running. It was much easier to walk in heels than run with them.

I walked down the next few corridors and then down into the Entrance Hall.

Next to the Great Hall doors, I noticed a mirror.

"Since when is that there?" I asked myself under my breath as I walked over to it

I saw my reflection and even I gasped a bit.

I hadn't really looked in the mirror since Wendy had finished.

I did look pretty good, if I don't say so myself.

She had changed my hair from fiery auburn to a golden blond, though my emerald eyes remained. The dress looked absolutely amazing. The strapless white ball gown made my skin glow and the beaded bodice reflected in my eyes. I not only looked amazing, but _felt_ amazing. I felt beautiful. And I loved it.

Oh, shit. The ball! I forgot. I took one last look, as well a deep breath, and walked over to the doorway. As soon as I got in front of it, the doors opened.

The view took my breath away. I walked in and looked around. I was up at the top of a grand staircase. One which certainly isn't usually in the Great Hall.

All around the staircase was the dining area, where there were a bunch of tables set for eight. In the center of the Great Hall was a large dance floor, which was already lively with dancing costume-clad students.

I took one step down the staircase into the light and in a matter of seconds, I could feel eyes on me.

I looked up to see the entire Great Hall watching me descend.

_Oh, shit. Don't fall, don't fall_, I thought to myself nervously.

It felt rather nice having all eyes on me. It was definitely a first.

But the only bad part, I later realized, was that nobody knew it was me.

I had completely forgotten that Wendy had changed my appearance dramatically.

Luckily, I made it down the stairs without stumbling and I walked down to the dance floor, smiling from ear to ear.

I expected to have to wind through people, but as soon as I stepped on to the dance floor, people moved out of my way.

I stopped for a second, but shrugged it off. I just continued walking until I saw the girls.

They hadn't altered their appearances all that much, except for the normal alterations: mask, nice hair, make-up, etc. The reason I'd changed so much was so that I wouldn't be bombarded by dance offers from James. Maybe this way I could have a night of fun without worrying he's right behind me.

"Hey, girls," I said as I reached them. They were dancing at the other side, but were now looking at me along with everyone else.

I didn't even realize it, but the music had actually stopped when I descended. I was so caught up in the moment that I hadn't even realized it.

As I reached them, the music started up and gradually everyone started dancing again.

"Go Lily!" Kiki yelled to me over the music.

"Go me?"

"Yeah! You just successfully shut down the entire ball for about two minutes! Before you came, everyone was on fire. Then you came in and everyone just _stopped_," Kyla answered. "So go you!"

"Yeah, I guess so. Go me!"

"That's the spirit, Lil!"

"This is great!" I yelled in response.

Like I said before, I don't usually like dancing, but I felt great, so I just moved. The beat was fast, so I moved in rhythm with the other girls.

We danced for the next few songs before they led me over to the table that they had claimed before.

"Nobody has sat with us yet," Kiki said.

"But, they didn't know that Lily was with us," Wendy added, laughing.

"Shut up, guys," I replied, sitting down. "Wow, I'm tired already."

"Well, you better hyper up! We've got a whole night ahead of us," Kyla said, taking a sip of the water that was sitting next to her place setting.

"I know! And I'm so excited!"

"Excuse me?" I heard from behind me.

I turned around to see Sirius standing there.

"Yes?" I asked.

"My name is Sirius Black," he said gracefully, swooping down into a poised bow.

He must have been doing that because of his costume, which was one of the three musketeers, because I'm pretty certain he doesn't normally do that with girls.

"I'm," I started, names racking through my mind. "Priscilla."

"May I have this dance, Priscilla?"

"Why, yes you may," I said, allowing him to take my hand and lead me to the dance floor.

I turned around to the girls before I got there and I got a thumbs up from Kiki, a smirk from Kyla, and a look of envy/longing from Wendy.

I just grinned and mouthed the words 'Sorry Wen.'

She smiled and replied 'It's fine.'

I had just begun laughing when Sirius twirled me suddenly.

I nearly lost my balance but he gracefully caught me.

"Not expecting that?" he asked, smirking.

"Not exactly," I replied.

"I must ask you this, Priscilla. Are you new? Because I'm sure I would have noticed a pretty face like yours."

Wow, could he have gotten any more cliched? I'm sure he couldn't have. How do girls fall for him? He's so corny. But I kind of liked it.

"I'm, um, Dumbledore's granddaughter," I replied.

What a stupid response.

He would surely know that I wasn't Dumbledore's granddaughter. Did he even have a granddaughter? Who knows. Now he did. And her name was Priscilla.

"Hm, Dumbledore has a granddaughter?"

"Of course. And I'm her," I replied, giggling.

"Cool."

Sirius was certainly a good dancer.

"Where did you learn to dance so well?" I asked.

"Family tradition. All boys had to take ball room dancing at the age of eight," he answered, grinning.

"Ball room dancing? Interesting."

"Well, thank you for thinking I'm a good dancer. I find myself to be rather rubbish."

"Rubbish? You're amazing. I've never met a person who moved better."

"Why thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So, where are you from, anyways?"

"London."

"Why are you at Hogwarts?"

"I transferred from Durmstrang," I replied quickly.

Another stupid answer. Boy, I'm not too good at this.

"Durmstrang? Why Durmstrang if you're grandfather is the headmaster here?"

"That's just it. My mother and father didn't want me to go to school here because they didn't want grandfather favoring me. I didn't think he would, but they did. Now that I'm sixteen, I told my parents that I wanted to transfer here, so they agreed. And now I'm here."

"Well, I'm glad of it."

"I'm glad that you're glad," I replied. "Wow, the song is over already?"

"Seems to be," he answered. "Would you like some punch?"

"No, thanks. Actually, I'm going to go back with my friends."

Wow, did I really just turn down Sirius Black? Hm, seems I did.

I like this whole power thing.

"All right," I could hear him say as I glided back over to the girls.

"Oh my God!" Wendy exclaimed as I sat down.

"You did not just dance with Sirius Black?!" Kiki asked in shock.

"Yeah. He was pretty good."

"Pretty good? He's amazing. You two actually looked great together," Kyla replied.

"Thanks, I guess. I still think that he and Wendy would look cute."

"Stop, you're just saying that because you feel bad because you think I feel bad about you dancing with Sirius."

"No. Actually, I've always thought you'd look cute."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, here comes James," Kiki whispered quickly.

"Excuse me," drawled his charmingly sly voice from behind me.

I turned around.

Dear lord, he looked incredible. He was wearing what I guessed to be a Prince Charming costume and he looked charming in it. I could have kissed him right then and there. But obviously, I couldn't.

"Yes?"

"May I have this dance?" he asked politely, holding out his hand.

"Sure," I replied, taking his hand. As I followed him, I turned around to the girls.

All three of them had their jaws dropped in amazement.

Apparently, they expected me to decline his offer. But I just couldn't. He looked so cute and handsome, how could I refuse?

"I'm James," he said as we began dancing.

He held me much closer than Sirius did, seeming much more compassionate. He seemed like he _actually_ wanted to be there. As much of a good dancer as Sirius was, he seemed very distant. James just felt close.

And I just realized why.

I am in love with him...


	9. Chapter Nine

"I never caught your name," James whispered as continued to dance.

"Priscilla," I replied, smiling. I looked up and realized immediately that it was a bad idea.

The minute I looked up I got caught up in those hazel eyes and my knees felt weak.

Whoa. That doesn't usually happen.

"Are you all right?" he asked, smiling as he caught me.

"Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine," I replied, my face turning a bit red.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I snapped back. "Sorry," I added, realizing the snip in my voice.

"It's all right. Happens all the time," he answered sarcastically, smirking.

"Shut up," I said, playfully hitting his arm.

"Ouch," he whined mockingly.

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

It was fun dancing with James this way. It was a relief knowing that he didn't know that I was Lily. I was a lot more relaxed. I felt a lot better.

"Having fun?" he whispered into my ear.

"Very much," I answered, moving my body closer to his.

"Well I'm glad of it," he replied, tightening his grip on my waist. "So, where are you from _Priscilla_?" he asked, adding an unusual exaggeration to the word Priscilla.

"I'm from London," I answered, praying that it was the same answer I gave Sirius earlier.

"Why are you at Hogwarts?" he asked with an odd hint of humor hidden is his voice.

"My grandfather is Dumbledore," I answered again.

He laughed at this.

"Everyone knows Dumbledore doesn't have a granddaughter."

"Of course he does. Why would I lie about that?" I asked, holding back a smile.

"I don't know. I guess he never really told anyone. I never even knew he had a child."

"Well, he does: my mother."

Gosh, I was getting good at this.

"So, why are you at Hogwarts?"

"I used to attend Durmstrang, but now that I'm sixteen, I told my parents that I wanted to attend Hogwarts with grandfather."

"Why didn't you attend Hogwarts when you were eleven?"

"My parents didn't want me to see my grandfather so often."

"Why not?"

"Well, they assumed he'd favor me."

"He wouldn't."

"I realized that. But they didn't."

Hmm, I am definitely getting good at this.

"So, _Priscilla_," he started.

There's that exaggeration on Priscilla again.

"Yes?"

"The song is over," he answered, smiling.

"Oh dear. Already? Time flies," I said.

"...when you're having fun," he finished, releasing his grip on me.

"Yes," I replied as I turned away.

"Wait."

"Yes?" I said, turning back towards him.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

"A walk where?"

"Out on the grounds."

"Won't you miss the ball? You have plenty more dance opportunities," I replied, smirking.

"I don't care. They're just girls. I would rather walk with you than stay here."

Aw, how sweet.

"Good answer," I said.

"Thanks," he said, taking my hand and leading me towards a door off to the side. Apparently, it was added just for the dance and it led out to a small patio with a large fountain.

"Wow," I said. "It's beautiful."

"Certainly is."

"Where would you like to walk? You're the expert. I've only been here since last night," I said, lying right through my teeth.

"We'll go to the forest," he answered.

The forest? _The Forbidden Forest_. Certainly not. It couldn't be. Why would he bring me there?

"The forest? All right," I replied, forcing a smile.

We continued holding hands as we walked across the grounds, past the lake and to the entrance of the Forbidden Forest.

We stopped before we entered and he looked at me, grinning.

"I'm just kidding. I'm not bringing you in there," he said. "It's forbidden, in fact."

"Really?" I replied, playing stupid.

"You should know that," he said, turning back towards the forest.

"I should?"

"Yes."

"Why would I know that?"

He turned back towards me and looked me square in the eyes.

"I'd know those eyes anywhere, Lily..."


	10. Chapter Ten

I stayed silent.

What could I say to that?

There was nothing.

"Lily?" he asked worriedly.

"You knew it was me?" I asked incredulously.

"Not until we started dancing," he replied, grinning at himself.

"And you didn't say anything? You just pretended you didn't know me and allowed me to make a fool of myself?" I said, getting angry.

How could he do that? I made a complete fool of myself and he knew that I was Lily the whole time.

"I'm sorry," he answered, looking a bit hurt.

I looked away. For a while, I was able to witness that look of hurt, but tonight, I couldn't. I felt terrible. But more over, I felt like an idiot.

"It's okay," I said apologetically.

"It is?" he asked, looking back up at me, a look of hope in his eyes.

"Yes. I'm the idiot. I thought I could pretend to be someone else for the night. But it was obvious that I couldn't."

"Why would you want to be someone else, Lily? You're beautiful just the way you are."

"It's Halloween. It's the only time that I can be someone else."

"The Cinderella costume would have done just fine."

"Not for me."

"Why?" he asked, obviously not understanding why I'd done it.

"Because I didn't want you to notice me."

"What?"

"I wanted one night of freedom."

"Freedom? From what?"

"From you."

"Why from me?"

"I wanted to feel like I didn't have to avoid you. I want to be around you, James, I really do. But I can't. It just can't happen. So I went a few steps further with the costume and pretended to be someone else. I told my friends it was because I didn't want you asking me to dance a thousand times, but really, it was so I _could_ dance with you."

"Why couldn't you just dance with me as Lily?"

"Because I couldn't, James. I just couldn't. Look, you and me? It's not supposed to happen. It's not supposed to be that way. You're supposed to date girls like Cindy, not me. I just can't do it," I answered, looking away.

I felt like digging a hole and burying myself in it at that moment.

I felt like a terrible person.

"But I love you, Lily. And I don't want to date Cindy. I want to date you. I don't care what's _supposed_ to happen. I care about what should happen. And what should happen is you and me."

Still not looking at him, I could hear him take a deep breath.

Uh oh.

Suddenly, I could feel his finger touch my chin and lift it up towards his eyes.

"I love you, Lily," he whispered as he took a cautious step forward.

I didn't move. And I'm glad I didn't.

When our lips touched, a chill went down my spine.

My whole body tingled.

No. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Why can't I just hate him? Why can't this kiss mean absolutely nothing to me? Why can't I just run and hide and never see him again?

Because I can't. That's why. I have to face this like I know I can.

By enjoying this kiss to its full potential and not caring what anyone else thinks.

Screw what's supposed to happen. Like he said, this is what should happen.

I wrapped my shaky arms around his neck and allowed him to lift me up off the ground a bit.

"James," I said as we released each other's lips.

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

He lowered me back to the ground and we moved away from each other a bit so I could look up at his face.

He had a huge smile spread across it and it made me smile.

Looking into his eyes, my knees went weak again.

This better not be a normal occurrence.

"You all right?" he asked worriedly.

"See what you do to me?" I answered, giggling.

"Me? It's not my fault you love me so much," he replied, releasing my waist and wrapping one arm around my shoulders.

I leaned into his side and wrapped my tiny arm around his waist.

We walked like that all the way back to the lake, where we sat down against one of the trees near the shore.

Ripples swept across the lake as gusts of the October wind whipped around.

I shivered a bit before James removed his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.

I held it tightly around myself and snuggled into his side.

Oh, how I could lie like this forever.

"You do realize that you still have your mask on, right?" he asked, chuckling a bit.

"I do?" I asked, laughing with him.

I reached up and touched my face.

"Seems I do," I said, removing it from my face and tossing it next to us in the grass.

"We do have to get up sometime," he said.

"Why?"

He laughed.

"Because it's getting late. And people will wonder where we are," he said.

"Who cares."

"I don't. But they will."

"Oh, fine," I said, pushing myself up.

"I didn't say now," he replied, pulling me back down so I was lying on top of him.

I sighed heavily as I laid my head down on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and placed his hands at the small of my back.

I shivered.

"Cold?"

"No."

He smirked and kissed my forehead.

"Mm, I could stay like this forever," he said.

"Me, too."

Dawn cracked around as we continued to lay in each other's arms.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around.

"We fell asleep," I whispered to James, moving my body so he would wake.

"Hmm?"

"We fell asleep," I repeated.

"Seems we did," he answered, smiling.

"We fell asleep," I repeated again, jerking myself up and falling off him into the grass. "James, we fell asleep!"

"Yes, Lily, I know."

"That's not a good thing!"

"Why?"

"Because that means we're not in our dorms. Which means nobody knows where we are!"

"And that's a bad thing because?"

"Because..." I started. "Well, I don't know why. But it is!"

"Sure it is, Lily," he said, pushing himself up and scooted back so he was sitting up against the tree. "It's beautiful out here this early."

"It is. But we should go."

"And how do you suspect we should get to our dorms without being caught?"

"I don't know. That's your job. You're the sneaky one, not me."

"I'm sneaky? You're the one who tricked people into thinking you were someone else last night."

"True," I smiled proudly. "I even tricked Sirius."

"That's not saying much," he replied sarcastically.

"Shut up," I whined. "Do you have a plan or not?"

"Of course, I do," he answered, smirking.


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Behind here," James said as he tugged me into a small opening behind a portrait of a knight on the third floor.

"Why?" I asked.

"Quiet," he shushed me.

"Sorry," I whispered back.

Neither of us spoke as we trudged along the tiny, dark corridor.

"Do you know where this leads?" I asked.

"Would I have taken you in it if I didn't?" he asked, squeezing my hand as a sign not to worry.

"Just making sure," I answered sheepishly, squeezing his hand back.

A few more minutes went by with neither of us speaking, just walking.

It seemed like forever before we finally reached the end.

James felt around in the dark and I could hear him let out a barely audible "yes" as he finally grasped on to something.

He jerked it open and pushed.

Light burst into the dark corridor and was I was nearly blinded as I stumbled backwards.

Luckily, he caught me.

"I seem to have to catch you a lot," he said jokingly as he steadied me.

"Well, let's hope it's not a regular occurrence," I replied, laughing.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Your hair is back," he said, running his hand through my newly returned auburn hair.

"Really? Hm, must have been a temporary spell," I mumbled as I stepped closer to him.

I snaked my arms around his waist and I could feel him press his face into my hair.

"I always wanted to do this," he said, leaning back so he could look down at my face.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Just hold on to you whenever I felt like it. And run my hands through your hair. And see that very look in your eyes when you look at me," he replied, smiling.

"Well, now you get to," I answered as I rose to my tip-toes and pecked a kiss on his lips. "Now, let's go."

"All right. You're the boss," he replied. "Ladies first."

"Why thank you," I said, taking his hand to help me out of the portrait.

He followed and closed the portrait behind him.

"We're at Gryffindor Tower already?" I asked, pointing towards the portrait of the Fat Lady a few feet away.

"Seems we are," he replied, smirking.

"Use that escape route often?" I asked.

"Not _too_ often," he answered, laughing. "We better get going."

"Now you want to rush," I said as we walked over to the portrait.

"Gryffindor," James said.

Nothing.

He cleared his throat impatiently and the Fat Lady jerked awake.

"What do you want, young man? 'Tis too early for a student to be up!" she shouted back. "And I don't remember you leaving," she added, eyeing us suspiciously.

"Just let us in," I said, more impatiently than his throat-clearing a few moments earlier.

"Password?" she asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Gryffindor," James answered.

"Fine," she replied huffily as her portrait swung open.

"Dear lord, she's stubborn," I muttered as we walked in.

Luckily the only person in earshot was James, who laughed lightheartedly.

We walked slowly into the common room, each praying that no one would be up.

Fortunately, there was no one to be found anywhere in the common room.

"I guess this is goodbye for now," I said, reaching up to kiss him quickly on the cheek.

"I guess," he replied as I trotted up the stairs to my dorm.

When I got to my dorm, I slowly creaked the door open. I popped my head in and saw that the other girls were still sound asleep in their beds.  
_That's a relief_, I thought.

I tip-toed in and quietly shut the door behind me.

I quickly slipped out of my dress and into my pajamas.

I soundlessly crawled into bed and rested my head on my pillow.

After closing my hangings, I breathed a sigh of relief.

_I'm homefree, now_, I thought proudly.

I allowed myself to relax and soon fell asleep.

"Where's Lily?" Kiki asked curiously as she sat in the common room the day after the ball.

"She must still be sleeping," Kyla answered.

"But I never saw her come into the common room," Wendy stated. "And we stayed up pretty late."

"Maybe she crashed early and we didn't see her," Kiki replied.

The other girls nodded in agreement.

They were completely oblivious to the fact that I had spent the evening with James Potter.

"There's Lily!" Wendy suddenly said after a few moments of silence.

The other two girls turned to see me skipping down the stairs happily.

"What's gotten into you?" Kyla asked me as I sat down beside her on the couch.

"I'm just in a good mood," I answered, smiling dreamily.

"So, how was it last night?" Kiki asked pryingly.

"What do you mean?"

Oh, no. Does she know? She couldn't.

"Well, we didn't see you much at the ball after you danced with James. Where'd you go?"

"Oh, I, um. I didn't feel well so I came back to the dorm for a few minutes, but I ended up falling asleep."

Kiki eyed me suspiciously, but replied simply, "Oh."

Score: Lily- 1, the girls- 0.

I could feel myself breath a sigh of relief, but stopped it mid-exhale in fear of them suspecting me.

"Well, why are you in such a good mood, then?" Wendy asked a few moments later.

"I don't really know. I just feel good," I answered.

_And maybe because I just found out that I love my sworn enemy and I'm actually happy about it,_ I thought to myself.

"Well, that's good," she replied.

"What do you guys want to do today?" Kyla asked, sounding bored as she twirled a piece of her fiery red hair around her forefinger.

"I don't know," Kiki answered.

"Why don't we go out on the grounds," Wendy suggested. "It's a nice day. And it's starting to get cold, so we might as well take advantage of the last few somewhat warm days before winter."

"Good point," I replied. "Let's do it."

"All right," Kyla and Kiki answered in unison.

"Lily! No fair. You've got longer legs than we do!" Wendy shrieked up to me as I sprinted a good four lengths ahead of them.

"That's no excuse!" I shouted back in response.

"Wait up," Kiki whined as she started slowing.

"Fine," I said, stopping abruptly, causing a sidetracked Wendy to run straight into me.

We both fell to the ground in fits of laughter.

"Nice to see that you watch where you're running," I said through a giggle.

"Well, you stopped and I was looking over there," she said, nodding her head towards where Sirius and James were playing with a shiny, gold snitch.

_Must have nicked it from the Quidditch supply room,_ I thought curiously to myself.

"You're so obsessed," I said to her as we helped each other up.

"It's a curse," she answered, smiling.

"Yeah, the curse of the Black Charm," I replied, laughing as she stared at him dreamily. "Hello?" I asked, waving my hand in front of her eyes.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly as I pulled her out of her daydream.  
"It's all right," I responded, throwing my arm around her shoulders jokingly.

She put her arm around my shoulders and we soon walked over to where Kyla and Kiki were sitting up against the tree.

"Look at stupid Potter, playing with that snitch like he's the Quidditch God," Kiki said spitefully as she frowned at his antics.

"Oh, I know," I replied, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"He loves to show off for all the girls," she added as a group of giddy fifth years went gallivanting up to the boys, batting their eyelashes and twirling their hair.

As one of the girls moved closer to James, touching his arm casually, I felt something I never thought I would: _jealousy_. I wished that I could be her over there, laughing and talking with him freely. I wished that I was the one who was making him smile at that moment. Not this other girl.

"Lily?" asked Kiki, pulling me out of my apparent daydream. "You were zoning out again."

"Sorry," I replied, not taking my eyes off James.

Just then, I saw him turn in my direction and subtly wink.

Oh, please tell me the girls did not see that.

"Hello?" asked Kiki, again, this time waving her hand in front of my eyes.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I turned my attention back to them.

"You seem stare a lot in that certain direction," Kyla pointed out, smirking. "What's the deal?"

"What's what deal?"

"Why you keep staring at James."

"No reason."

"Of course there's a reason, Lily. I personally think you fancy him," Kiki said.

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do. Admit it!" she responded, laughing at me.

"I do not!"

"Your mouth is twitching!" she shrieked back, now rolling in a fit of laughter.

"No, it's not!" I answered, covering my mouth.

"When your mouth twitches, it means you're lying! I know you fancy him, Lily. There's no denying that undying love in your eyes whenever you see him," Kyla said, grinning madly.

"I knew you'd come around," Wendy added, grinning as well.

"I do not fancy him!" I said, standing up angrily.

"Lily! Don't go, Lily! We're just playing around with you," Kiki shouted to me as I walked off back to the castle.

I didn't turn around. I couldn't.

My face had turned up into the biggest grin you'd ever seen.

I couldn't help but laugh. So they did notice how I stared at him and the look in my eyes when I saw him.

I was also smiling because I knew that they were right. But I did everything in power to make them think otherwise.

"Lily, wait up!" I heard someone running behind me.

Wait a second. That wasn't a girls' voice.

Oh, no. James!

I spun around on my foot, nearly knocking myself over, and looked at him.

"Not in public," I hissed. "Wait a second, then meet me in the passage," I added, smirking as I turned around and walked off.

I could see him smile as I turned.

God, that smile. It made me melt, as much as I hated admitting it.

I walked quickly up the stairs and down a few corridors until I reached that same portrait from that morning.

I repeated what James did: spoke clearly and unthreateningly to the overly defensive knight, who claimed to be called Sir Cadogen.

"Who goes there!" he shouted as I walked up to his portrait.

"My name is Lily. I was here this morning with James, sir," I replied meekly.

"Yes, I remember you," he replied. "Well, what do you need?"

"I just need to get in, sir," I replied.

"Password?"

Oh, crap. What was it? I know this. I know I know this.

"Cadogen's Crusade," said someone behind me.

I spun around to see James.

"Hello, there," I said.

"Correct," shouted Sir Cadogen. "You may proceed," he added as his portrait swung open.

I smiled at James and nodded towards the passage, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

He grinned and walked over to me.

He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me into the passage with him.

The portrait swung closed after us and it was pitch black.

I could feel the cold, stone wall on my back as James pressed his body against mine, kissing me passionately.

I snaked my arms around his neck and held him close as his tongue teasingly slid over my lips.

We held that position for a long while, exchanging our passions continuously.

Finally, after tiring ourselves, we both slid down the wall and sat with our backs against it.

"That was fun," he breathed out.

"Certainly," I replied, leaning my head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around me as I took his other hand in mine.

I draw hearts on his hand with my fingers and relaxed as he massaged my shoulder.

Even though we couldn't see each other in the pitch black, I knew he was smiling. I knew that he was as happy to be there as I was.

"Are you happy?" he asked curiously after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Am I happy?" I answered.

"Yeah. Are you?"

"With what?"

"Everything. This. Us."

"Yes, I am," I answered, lifting my hand to feel for his face.

I slid my hand over his cheek, then leaned up and kissed him on the lips.

"Are you?" I asked.

"Of course, I am. I've wanted this day to come for six years."

"Six years?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, Lily. I've fancied you for six years. Ever since the first day I laid eyes on you, I knew you were perfect."

"Me? Perfect? Yeah, right."

"Perfect for me," he replied, squeezing my shoulder sweetly.

I smiled and nestled my head back on to his shoulder.

A few more minutes passed without a word, until he finally spoke again.

"We should get going."

"Why? You have something better to do?" I asked sarcastically.

"Of course not," he answered. "But I'm sure our friends are getting suspicious from our mysterious disappearances," he said, chuckling.

"Eh, they'll never guess."

I knew that wasn't true.

I could tell that my friends thought I was with James last night.

I could tell they knew something.

"Mine would," he replied.

"Well then, I guess we better get going."

I could feel him stand up first, then I could feel his hands on my knees.

I took his hands and he effortlessly pulled me up.

"You want to go out this way?" he asked, tapping on the portrait.

"Sure," I answered. "See you outside," I added, giving him one last peck on the lips.

Then I turned, pushed open the portrait and climbed out.

I noticed James wink at me as I left, but I couldn't reply as Sir Cadogen's portrait had already closed.

Damn.

That was amazing.

I kept thinking about that amazing experience as I walked back out on to the grounds.

I noticed the girls sitting in the same spot.

I shook my body a bit and attempted to lose the smile that had been plastered to my face for past few minutes, but I couldn't.

I couldn't relax.

I couldn't not smile.

I was still caught up in the moment of being that close and passionate to James.

Forgetting about trying to look upset, I trotted over to the girls and sat down next to them.

"Sorry about before, we were..." Wendy started.

"Don't worry about it. I overreacted."

"You did?" Kyla asked.

"Yeah. I guess I do kind of have feelings for James," I replied, attempting to hide my sheepish smile.

"You do!?" Kiki asked, nearly falling over.

"Yes."

"That's outstanding! Now you two can go steady and be the hottest couple in school!" Wendy exclaimed happily.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because that just won't happen."

"Aw, you ruined it," Wendy said, pouting playfully.

"You're so odd," I replied, laughing.

"But Lily. You fancy James. James fancies you. Why don't you go out?" Kiki asked curiously.

"I just don't want to."

"Oh, by the way. Where did you say you were last night?" Kyla asked, looking as if she had just remembered something.

"I didn't feel well, so I went back to my dorm and ended up falling asleep," I answered, looking from smirking face to smirking face.

"Is that why your shoes were sitting by this tree?" Kyla asked accusingly, pulling the same pair of silver heels I'd worn the night before.

"I, um, uh, I..." I stuttered.

Crap!

"What were you really doing, Lily?" Kiki asked, smirking incessantly.

"I was, um..."

"Spit it out!" Wendy exclaimed, laughing at my stuttering.

"I was out here!"

"That's pretty obvious," Kiki replied. "What mean, Lily, is 'With who?'"

"What do you mean with who? I was alone. Before I went up to my dorm, I came out here to get some fresh air," I answered, finally thinking of an alibi.

"Yeah, okay," Kiki responded, staring back at me with narrowed eyes. "You were with James, weren't you!?"

"NO!"

"YES, YOU WERE! Your mouth is twitching again!"

"It is not!" I snapped, covering my mouth.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Look in my eyes. Am I lying?"

Kiki moved closer to me and looked directly into my eyes.

I was the master as that.

Growing up where I did, you couldn't let your eyes say anything about you.

After all these years, I could still turn my eyes stone cold.

She peered into my eyes and moved back and forth a few times.

Frowning as she moved away a final time, she spoke.

"She's right."

"What are you talking about?" Wendy exclaimed. "Of course she's lying!"

"No, she's not," Kiki answered. "If she was lying, her eyes would tell you. But she's not."

Haha.

Score: Lily- 2, the girls- 0.


End file.
